the blunder years

There are these few highs in life that you
can never forget come what may. The excitement,
the rush, the pride et al.Its not just you who
remember all of those. Friends, family and every
single person,known and unknown, who happened
to share those moments with you do too.But to
think of the way the human memory works, its not
just the heroic moments that are etched forever
within us.There are the days of doom, the heights of
embarrassment, the epitomes of shame and so on
and so forth. In a very weird sense I started to
recollect a few. In return it all came screaming
back to me in a way that beyond a point I started
thinking how on earth I survived all those.

A few excerpts:

[I should of course mention that I had to censor
quiet a few and that I get embarrassed very
easily]

Back in 7th std I used to take the bus home.
The famous 27B. If I remember correctly chennai
had about 16 buses on that route and there was
one crossing our school between 3:05 and 3:10pm.
There was this one time I was on one of them
when it happened. The bus broke down some place
in P.H.Road.The conductor to go by tradition called
for everyone to push it back to action.Almost all
the "men" got down. I wasn't sure what exactly to
do but then I though what could be the worst thing
that could happen, so I got up. I barely reached the
steps when this crazy college guy had to yell out
"hey arnold, ukkaru" (THUUDDD). The entire bus had a
pretty good real laugh..all but one


Years before that, probly 2 or 3 years before
I wanted to become a someone in cricket.My game
wasn't bad at all for an average kid. So I pestered
my dad to get me into the school crick club and
he gives in after sometime.First day Im out there
hitting, fielding , not blowling and everything
seemed to go fine. After the class all the kids
clad in dirty-white, a rare shade that.A result of
rolling on red soil to make that dive catch when it
could have been stopped with your toes while holding
a book in one hand and a sandwitch in the other.
but what the heck everyone wanted to be a hero.
Anyway after everyone comes around, the coach
started to read aloud all the names ,some kind of
attendence probly and my name was left out.This
was a relatively simple situation I understand, but
at that time I was not a relatively simple boy. So
I cried (i know most of your reactions would be.
... Duh!!!??).It was so so embarrassing for years
together after that.I didnt feel that bad even when
my off-stick went flying to the first ball of the match
in a inter class tournament.


This one is highly reasonable and anyone, no
matter how high a threshold for public humiliation
would loath such a memory. One evening I was
playing with all my colony buddies. There was
this kid who got a new dog.It was black and
hairy, a little weird though.I love dogs but
there was something about this one which constantly
made me wonder what it actually was. So we're all
playing with it and suddenly this dogs freaks out
and starts chasing me. I think he thought of me as
something weird as well.So I try to figure a way out
and climb on the side walls of the steps along the
grill. The damn dog kept jumping and trying to attack
me. Just when I was trying to avoid it my bermudas
got caught in the grill and I slipped from the stairs.
(THHUUUUDDD again). Few seconds later I was badly
bruised, had a dog smelling my crotch and the
worst part was my bermudas was torn in half. It was
in pieces hanging on to me like some kinda ultra hip
skirt or something. My house was two streets away and
it was a summer evening so it was all bright.Rest is
history..no catastrophe.

[I know this sounds a lot "wonder years"y but watching
a lot of it was actually why i wrote this. Please do leave
one or two of your own experiences]

hope am right , doesn't matter if not

[I know its been long since i written anything but the fact is
that i didn't feel like. Somehow i'm not able to blog like one
would write a journal or diary or something.]

Year 2006 has been the best and worst for many reasons.
From january to June I spent most of my time at office.
Weekends at Hot shoe doing the thing i love doing and
not be bothered about anything else. It was a wonderful
life. Since June Its been a rough ride. I tried to juggle work ,
cat and dance and 4 months later i realise I'm the wurstest
[sorry grammar lovers..I believe bad worse or worst wont do
justice] ever in juggling. Then I decided to give up my job and
do something which I never would have done in a million
years..Sit and prepare at home. I can only laugh at myself.
Yeah, I read somewhere that part of healthy living is to learn
to laugh at yourself. Apparently the guy who said that didn't
mean, make a fool out of yourself and then laugh. I spent the
entire of two months doing so many things Im never used to
doing. Sleeping till 8 in the morning , starring at the wall for a
surprisingly long time , sitting and deciding what to do for the
rest of the day was a great pass time in itself, lots and lots of
listening and playing music.

I think Ive reached a stage where its all became a little too
overwhelming. So I sat down to decide my plan of action
based on the things Ive experinced in the past 6 months.
Here are my observations

1. I can never do the same thing for too long, even if its doing
absolutely nothing.
2. Dance means life to me and I cant stop doing that no matter
what.
[Might contradict with Pt 1 but thats the truth]
3. I have always been an average or above average guy
in anything I do and forever will be.
[I have made my peace with that In thankful for who I am
also I set a very high threshold for success]
4. I always set out to do something with utmost conviction and
end up doing something else which I find even more interesting
and in the end regret neither.
5. NO matter what people say or suggest there are few things I will
go only my way.
[Sorry guys..thats the way it is but i appreciate your effort]

And now for what I figured out is supposedly going to make
my life smoother.

1. If I want something I have to give my everything to get all the
way there
[There are no intermissions in life]
2. I cant hold on to everyone and everything If i want to get
somewhere. Apparently people dont move, neither do ropes
of success.
[One has to let go to get moving]
3. I have to live my life better than anyone could ever do.
[Be true to yourself and everything else will fall in place]
4. Above all accept myself for who i am and deal with the consequences
[For if I change to make things better I am no longer living "my" life]